And the point of Mother's Day?

I have always had mixed emotions about Mother's Day. No, that is not a true statement. I have developed mixed emotions about the day in the last 10 years or so. My first Mother's Day as a Mother felt wonderful. I was a mother. I had an extraordinary child. I had fallen madly in love with this child and she seemed to return the feelings. Her existence gave me proper entree into this special club. I loved everything about being a mother. I loved the care, feeding, dressing, changing and cooing involved in mothering. Then the next child arrived, a boy, and he added to the delight. The third child came along a few years later and even more delight. Of course, that is the end of the story (their births) so there will be no more on the subject of births until much later. The children were not aware of Mother's Day for many, many years. Their father, took on the responsibility of acknowledging the holiday with the usual card, flowers maybe some candy. Mostly a very nice card. One year I got a paddle boat. It's a great boat and I still use it every summer. Somewhere along the way, I asked for mulch and since it arrived around Mother's Day it became a tradition for the family to give me mulch on Mother's Day. We still call it Mother's Day mulch even though I buy it myself and not anywhere near Mother's Day. But there you have it. A few years ago I told the children that I did not want any special attention on Mother's Day. No card, no gift, no phone call. Well, I call each of them on Sundays anyways. So I call them on Mother's Day. My rationale is that every day is mother's day. I am a mother every day. There is no need to call attention to this role on the designated day in May. Erica pointed out that this aversion to Mother's Day is exactly opposite to my feelings about my birthday. I love my birthday and expect all family members to join me in celebrating the day. I think everyone in the family also loves my birthday. But back to Mother's Day. Besides my own personal thoughts and reactions to the day there is also the larger societal issues such as the fact that many people have complicated relationships with their mothers. Some people no longer have their mother. Some women are not mothers and never will be. Mother's Day just rubs their noses in their losses, pain or choices. So tomorrow is Mother's Day and I will be buying my own mulch and calling each of my three children.