The Blog Block

It has been five weeks since the last entry. I have blog block. My mind is a blank when it comes to ideas about parenting. So, good writers, profilic writers, say write anyways. Even if you have not one interesting thing to say. I will write about the block. What is going on? Could it be that living with my parent, my mother, has erased everything I know about my own parenting! Before writing further about the block, I must comment on the ease of writing on the library computer which has DSL. We don't have DSL. Before we ever get DSL, I am hoping that we will have a wood burning furnace, solar panels and an invigorated composting system. Then we will deserve DSL. Just like we deserve direct tv which we have right now.

What is the effect of living with one's parent? In many ways, Craig and I have been parenting my mom. She arrived five weeks ago. She walked down the long hallway in the Burlington airport having just come off a flight from Orlando. She had most of her belongings with her. The rest had been mailed a few weeks prior during the week after my brother's death. Mom was homeless. She was in debt and she was in deep grief. She was starting her life over at the age of 80. But here is the wonderful thing about mom. She has a photographic memory which I did not inherit. She memorized the computer keyboard in one day. She bought a laptop computer and has a g-mail account. She delights in this new- to- her technology that opens a world of communication to her and her friends and family. She has partial vision but is able to use most of our appliances, manage the stairs and walk around the property. She is not afraid of the bears. Initially, me and the siblings were concerned about mom's ability to adapt and move on. We thought of mom as fragile. That is so far from what has happened. Mom is made of steel and she is highly adaptive.

Ok, so here is the lesson that I think is our strength as parents. In spite of our own fears, doubts, weaknesses, we love to see our children develop their independence (and mom's too). We are big on learning. Learning skills, learning for the sake of learning. Did you know that you can learn anything from a book? This brings me to a big exception, and yes, I know there are others. Learning to drive. I was a complete failure at teaching and encouraging the children to drive. I literally could hardly loosen my own grip from the steering wheel of the car to let my children practice. I was deathly afraid of being in a car crash. Erica does not own a car and has used public transportation for the past 8 years. The same with Tommy. This is actually a good thing not a direct result of driving phobia. Chris on the other hand is driving the Vibe in Los Angeles. Now that is what I call exposure therapy. And I mean for me. Just knowing he is driving in LA traffic is forcing me to overcome my horrible phobia which is really not about me driving but my children driving. Or letting my children drive me around. Someone must have written a book about teaching/encouraging your adolescent child to drive. It should be called "Teaching your Child to drive for Dummies" or in my case "paranoid nitwits".

Kahlil Gibran wrote about giving your children roots and wings. I think we aspired to do that with our children and my mom. Sometimes you need the roots and sometimes the wings. I love it that the children, young adults now, do the following: travel, work (and are not picky about jobs if that is what is available), cook, clean their own habitat, have many wonderful, interesting friends, create art, play music, are romantic and affectionate, read, write and learn. They are independent and rooted. They come home. They leave. I miss them.